The Day I Realised My Salary Was Controlling Me (And How I Changed the Narrative)

An expensive array of clothes, gourmet groceries, and 5-star hotel stays every three months. That is what I had in my name. Not ₹50 lakhs in savings or a ₹1 crore net worth. Just material desires that somehow became my priority.

I had convinced myself that there would always be a next month to start saving. Back in 2020, I could have easily saved 50k a month. And I did. Only to then repeat the cycle of saving → buying random things or spending on travel → waiting for the next month's salary every two months.

Do you see the pattern here? I had to be delusional to assume that my job would never be taken away from me because I work so hard. And because I need my job to fund this unhealthy pattern I developed with money, I had to work my ass off, gulping down the burning desire to quit or take a sabbatical. My salary was controlling my actions, and I had no idea how to stop it.

In This Article:

• How my salary started controlling my spending and lifestyle
• The breaking point that forced me to confront my money habits
• How I changed my approach to money and now save 55% of my salary

There was no "Enough" button in my life.

I loathed the survival frugality mindset that my parents had developed around their money. Even though I never complained about the things I couldn't have as a kid or a teen, the ability to have everything as an adult with a single click was irresistible. I became addicted to the "idea" of a rich life. I wanted to enjoy imported blueberries. I wanted to look rich by wearing expensive clothes even when I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to travel to new places as quickly as possible because I saw someone on Instagram travelling too frequently, and I thought I could do it too.

Every time I saw my salary come in at the end of the month, my mind would go “kaching” and, on autopilot, I'd order everything I had wanted without a second thought.

I failed to understand that I had to pause somewhere to evaluate my life decisions. I failed to realise that my job wasn't a given. I am dispensable to the company. I failed to understand that if I didn't get even one month's salary, banks would come knocking at my door to demand credit card payments if I defaulted.

I had enough already, and yet my mind never felt it.

Also read - The Year I Spent ₹3.77 Lakhs on Things I Didn't Need (And the Survival Frugality I'm Still Unlearning)

The Breaking Point

When my boyfriend and I decided to get married, we realised we hadn't planned or saved for it. We started saving little by little within a year, but when I sat down to plan and budget, I was shocked to find that even a registry marriage and a simple reception would cost us a lot. And the amount that we were saving was nowhere near enough for it. On top of that, our parents barely contributed anything.

Imagine this situation where you are already mismanaging your finances, unable to control your shopping addiction, and you are saving for your marriage! I had to take an advance from my company and withdraw a portion from my provident fund account to afford a simple marriage.

Every single calculation and decision was costing my health dearly. My weight increased; I started having violent coughs at night; I couldn't sleep well; I couldn't focus on my work; and I was irritated all the time.

And then one day it hit me.

I didn't even have money to get a health checkup.

I had built a lifestyle that made me dependent on my salary, and that dependence was preventing me from making choices about my own life.

The Change in My Mindset and Finances

After my marriage, I immediately started to use a budgeting app to keep track of my expenses and started seeing a therapist. I wanted to understand where exactly I was draining my money, and the initial 3 months of using an app did help me see some of the patterns.

I started watching some personal finance YouTube channels, which helped me understand that I needed to sit down with my finances every single week.

I shifted from using a mobile app to Excel-based templates, which further increased my visibility into my spending and savings patterns.

Consistent therapy also helped me see some of the patterns that I had been neglecting before. I started prioritising my mental and physical health. I made space in my budget for checkups.

You might also want to read: When My Body Stopped Negotiating: The Rock Bottoms I Couldn't Outrun

I learnt that if I wanted to spend money on the things that mattered, I needed “sinking funds.”

And that meant delayed gratification.

I had a lot of useless debts too, so I prioritised closing them first before putting anything into savings. It felt freeing and powerful at the same time.

It has been 2 years since then, and I can proudly say that I save 55% of my salary now! The journey was never a straight one. I lapsed so many times in my money management goals and had the itch to go back to my old habits. But someone on the internet said: It's these boring, unsexy habits that will make you wealthy, not impulsive decisions.

And truer words were never spoken.

If you want a full step-by-step guide on how to start managing your finances, let me know in the comments. I will create one for free.

See you in the margins.